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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Minimum Requirements

There should be minimum requirements to be allowed to leave the house and go into public. It is a combination of attitude, cleanliness, and clothing. If you do not meet the minimum requirements, then you should not be allowed to interact with other people.

Attitude
It shouldn't necessarily be required that you to go out of your way to brighten the day of those around you, that's not your responsibility. You don't have to be excessively nice, that would actually be rather annoying. But it should be required that you put forth an effort not to ruin the day of others. This includes being courteous to strangers instead of yelling and cursing at them.

Cleanliness
Sniff your pits before you leave the house. Are they fresh? Good! Proceed to your activity for the day. How do your clothes smell? Like an April breeze? Great, the grocery store is calling you. Have you brushed your teeth today? How about your hair? Everything in order? Wonderful! You have passed the cleanliness test! Continue about your normal business.

Clothing
Pants are required. No exceptions. You should also be wearing a shirt. If you are wearing a sweatshirt, then it should have a t-shirt underneath. Don't approach me with your sagging pants and bare-chested sweatshirt and ask me for help. It's distracting. And not in a sexy way. Also, while proper foundational garments are required, you get bonus points if I can't see see them, and some people need bonus points.

If you keep these simple guidelines posted by your front door you should be fine. I reserve the right to make fun of you if you don't follow my rules. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If you have any suggestions, feel free to comment!

2 comments:

Kelsie said...

Thank you Julie... finally someone has said what we all are thinking! And that guy really did have you distracted the other day, it was quite funny.

Anonymous said...

I love these rules....actually I think this should be in large print in the Daily Oklahoman so more people will be encouraged to follow "da rulz"....Paula Combs