Friday, November 20, 2009


Today Kelsie and I were discussing the pros and cons of having children. We are both having a perfectly wonderful time being selfish and doing whatever we want without having to stop and consider what we are going to do with the kid.

In this discussion, I came up with a theory. Babies, toddlers, and even little kids are cute. They are cuddly and say funny things. In this process of “being cute,” they trick you into loving them. Yes, they trick you. Because when this kid turns six, it is going to become a miniature hoodlum. This is when the kid starts talking back and means it. They understand what they are saying is disobedient, which somehow makes the little hooligan happy. They have to be cute when they are tiny so you can still have a reason to love them later. It is especially true when they turn 13 and become full-blown hoodlums. You can close your eyes and think back to a time when they were still cute and cuddly.

Before anyone has children, they should be required to sit down and make a list. You have to number your paper from 0 to 18 (higher in some cases), and write down the good qualities for each year they are alive and under your guardianship. Zero through six are easy, those are the cute years. It’s the later years that are harder. This is because when some people decide to have a baby they forget that this baby will someday turn into a hoodlum teenager. For good measure it might be good to divide your list into columns labeled “good” and “bad.” Maybe the “bad” column would dissuade potentially bad parents from having children at all, effectively ridding the world of hoodlums all together.

It’s just something to consider.


Carina said...

While I realize you're joking, I can't help but defend kids and parents the world over. =)

Not all children are easy in the first few years, and not all children turn into hoodlums, or anything approaching that. I do hear that it doesn't get any easier, but at each age there are things that are easier than before, and things that are more difficult. I have known three year old hoodlums, and 13 year old angels. So much depends on personality and parenting.

Julie K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie K. said...

I appreciate your defense of good parents! I almost added a disclaimer to this post because I thought specifically of you and your wonderfully behaved children (due to good parenting). I don't think your kids will grow up to be hoodlums at any age.

Carina said...

Well, I wouldn't typically use "wonderfully behaved" to describe my children, but I appreciate the sentiments anyway. =) They're still very much a work in progress.

I just don't want you and your friend to be scared off from parenting because of what you see other people's children doing. Your own will be unique and different.

GrannyKaye said...

The truth of the matter is that if the children could be skipped and go straight to the grandchildren it would be great!
Speaking from experience, my children are 27 and 32 it is the child's personality not always the parenting that makes them turn out the way they do.
I encourage all young people to put off being a parent until they have had time to enjoy their own lives. Enjoy young single life, enjoy young married life and do the things you will NEVER be able to do after you have children.
Wait until you are at or in your early thirties to have children. It will be better for them and better for you too. You will still be young enough when they leave the nest to enjoy your midlife activities.