Saturday, January 29, 2011

Turkey Ham?

Blondie and I had company for dinner on Friday night and wanted to cook a special meal for our guests. We decided to make chicken cordon bleu, which we both really like. Unfortunately, though, two of our guests don't eat pork, so we had to come up with an alternative for the ham layer. Blondie suggested we use "turkey ham" instead, and I thought that sounded like a reasonable solution.

I assumed "turkey ham" was just turkey made to look and taste like ham. You know, like turkey jerky or turkey burgers. This seemed perfectly fine to me. I don't mind a little processed meat in my diet. I went to the grocery store to find the elusive "turkey ham" last week and couldn't find it. I found turkey and I found ham, but no "turkey ham." Blondie looked at me like I was a fool and said he would get the "turkey ham" himself.

Yesterday he came home with this and it was my turn to look at him like he was a fool:

Does this look like "turkey ham" to you? NO. This is turkey. Not ham. Not "turkey ham." Turkey. No wonder I had such a difficult time finding "turkey ham!" There's no such thing! There's just turkey or ham, no hybrid meat product known as "turkey ham."

According to Blondie, any kind of lunch meat is ham. So, this is turkey ham. And apparently there's chicken ham and salami ham and roast beef ham and ham ham. This reminds me of the times my grandma would ask me to make her a bologna sandwich.

She lived in the nursing home in town and was usually satisfied with the food they would serve, but on occasion she would be in the mood for something different. Since I lived close by, she would often call me and ask me to bring a sandwich if she didn't like the meal they were serving in the cafeteria. She usually asked for a bologna sandwich, but I rarely stock bologna in my fridge. I would tell her that I didn't have bologna, and offer whatever kind of cold cuts I happened to have (usually ham...not "turkey ham.") She always gladly accepted, saying, "any kind of bologna is fine."

To Grandma all cold cuts were bologna, and to Blondie all cold cuts are ham.

Do you like turkey or ham? Have you ever found "turkey ham" for sale anywhere? I'm sure it does exist...even if I can't find it in our grocery store. Where can I get it?

Thanks to CSN Stores, one lucky reader of Lame Adventures will win a $35 gift certificate to any of CSN Stores' online stores. CSN Stores offers everything for your home, including furniture, home decor, housewares, outdoor items, baby and kid stuff, school and office supplies, shoes, bags, luggage, pet supplies, and health and fitness equipment. CSN Stores is a one-stop-shop for just about anything you might need.

To enter: tell me your favorite lunch meat or where in the world I can find "turkey ham."

For additional entries (leave separate comments for each):

• become a follower of Lame Adventures
• post a direct link to this giveaway on your facebook status
• blog about the giveaway; leave a direct link to your post in the comment

The winner will be selected by a random draw. Make sure your comment gives me a way to contact you if you win. If I can't get in touch with you, I'll have to select another winner!

The giveaway ends at 10:00 pm, central time, on Monday, January 31, 2011.

Due to shipping issues, the giveaway is open to residents of the U.S. and Canada only. The $35 gift certificate does not cover any shipping costs but you can use it on ANY product from ANY one of CSN Stores' sites.

Nobody paid me to say nice things about CSN Stores, but CSN Stores is giving one of my readers $35 worth of stuff. Lucky readers!

Friday, January 28, 2011

A Falling Out

As you surely remember, Lucy got a new friend for Christmas. She was all nonchalant and pretended she didn't care about her new friend. She pushed him aside and ignored him. So we put him in her dog food container so he would smell yummy delicious like her food. Then she decided she liked her friend and licked him and loved him. Then he stopped smelling like dog food and she pushed him aside again.

Lucy and her friend have had a falling out. I noticed she had been pulling out some of his little "fur" things, but I thought it was possible that she was trying to show him affection. This morning when I went to let her outside (it is far too cold to make her sleep outside at night), I found the massacre. You can even see the poor Loofa Dog grimacing in pain. He has been granted a temporary restraining order, and hopefully will soon enter the witness protection program located at the local dump.

Poor thing never hand a chance...

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

What I Wore Wednesday

I have decided to take on a new challenge. No, I'm not going to commit to working out or flossing every day. Starting next week, I am going to try to document my Wednesday wardrobe for all of blogland to see.

I follow one blogger who photographs her eccentric outfits every day of the week. There's no way I'm going to try that, because people would quickly get bored of my black pants and lack of accessories. I'm not very fashionable. I don't like spending a lot of money on clothes. I work in an office and wear regular clothes to work. But surely once a week I can come up with an outfit worth showing off. Surely! Another blogger I follow has started posting her Wednesday clothing choices once a week, and that is much more reasonably within my ability! I'm going to do this mostly because I think it will be fun, but also for other various reasons.

It will keep me accountable. If I commit to photographing my Wednesday outfits for the world to see, I have to wear something worth showing off. I am definitely not a very stylish person, and I don't really care about fashion. Unless something is comfortable, machine washable, and goes with everything else in my closet, I don't want it.

It will force me to be creative. I wear jeans way too often and I have too many pairs of black pants. After everyone has seen my rotation of outfits, I'll have to come up with new combinations. Perhaps readers will have suggestions

It will require me to post something regularly! I've become a slacker about posting on the blog and if I have a schedule to stick to, I'll be much more likely to post regularly.

I hope this ends up being something fun and exciting. Much like other experiments in my life (piano lessons, basketball, golf), if I hate it, I'll quit. I make no promises of exciting outfits or fashion advice, but maybe my fashionable readers will be able to give me some tips!

Thursday, January 20, 2011


It's cold. On my way to work this morning, it was 18*. I know that's normal for lots of folks, but here where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, it's cold!

Dogs shiver in their doghouses, peeking out with pitiful faces begging to be let inside. Swingsets on school playgrounds sit listlessly, waiting for sunny days when children can play. Oklahomans, not accustomed to the frigid weather, drag out their once-a-year winter gear. People keep their gas tanks full and their trunks loaded with supplies. Everyone goes to the grocery store and stocks up on bread and milk, as if a family could live on that if they were stranded for a week.

So far this school year, Blondie has not had any snow days. He's hoping to maintain that trend, because if they don't use their snow days, they get out of school on Fridays in April. We have been letting Yogi sleep in the garage. Blondie told him it's because, "even though he's a big little dog, he's still a little dog." It's true. He's full grown, but he's still puny. He wouldn't make it all night at 18*.

Blondie did rig up a heat lamp in Yogi's dog house. His little cocoon stays at a toasty 40* when it is about 32* outside. If it gets much below freezing, though, he sleeps inside. Today we took Yogi to Blondie's parents' house to spend the day because they have a cozy porch where the dogs can snuggle up. No, Yogi isn't really spoiled at all.

On days like today when the roads are icy and the conditions are uncertain, Blondie drops me off at work and then drives on to school. My office is about 15 miles from our house and his school is 20 miles farther. We only have one vehicle that is 4-wheel-drive, so we carpool on nasty days. This means I have to get up an hour earlier than usual. I'm not a fan of getting up early anyway, and especially not on cold winter days!

I drank hot chocolate at the office while I checked emails this morning. It made me feel a little better about being there at 7:15.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Christmas Recap

I went back to work this week after being off for almost two weeks. It was so nice to be able to sleep in every morning and lounge around all day!

We did have an action packed holiday season! We had dinner and Dirty Santa with Blondie's maternal grandparents on December 21, I made seven casseroles for the freezer on December 22, we enjoyed verenika and family history with Blondie's paternal grandmother on December 23, we had a relaxing Christmas Eve with my family on December 24, we spent the day with Blondie's family on Christmas Day, we attended Cirque du Soleil on December 26, then we took a break for a few days. We tried to celebrate New Year's Eve with Art and Carina, but Mim got sick, then we had one last Christmas celebration with my mom's extended family on New Year's Day. Whew!

Here are a few photos from the festivities at my parents' house.

Our traditional "silly socks" photo. I got these scented fuzzy socks at Bath and Body Works. We'll see how long they maintain their aroma.

Mom got a flashlight with a magnet, so when she has to change a flat tire at night, she can stick it to the frame of her car and have adequate light. Or she can wait patiently for AAA with confidence that if she had to change a flat at night she would have the proper equipment.

Daddy received a wildlife camera that he plans to use to keep an eye on the nocturnal activity around his hay bales. Apparently some critters have been vandalizing his hay supply.

Blondie and I gave all of our mothers and grandmothers wedding photo albums for Christmas. I am a little surprised C cared to glance at it, but he does seem a little preoccupied with the approaching hotshot.

In reality I'm not twice as big as Blondie, I just happened to be closer to the camera in this shot. It was otherwise a good picture, though, so I decided I could overlook that flaw.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Merry Christmas, Lucy!

I never thought we would be those people. The kind who think their dog talks to them and deserves to be treated like she is a special member of the family. We are officially those people.

A few days before Christmas, we were browsing Tractor Supply. We like to browse Tractor Supply because they have fun, sometimes unusual things. We were also a bit behind on our Christmas shopping.

As we wandered past the pet things, C. decided Lucy needed a new bowl because the rubber that keeps hers from scooting around on the kitchen floor came off. We also noticed their Loofa Dogs were on sale. We had tried to give Lucy a toy back in her more skittish days, but she didn't know what to do with it. We decided this would be a good opportunity to get Lucy a gift.

We picked the prettiest bowl and the cutest Loofa Dog and hid them from her until Christmas Eve. At this point I was too excited and I had to give Lucy her gifts (I can't handle the excitement of waiting to give people gifts, I want to give them away now).

Lucy pretended that she didn't care about her new bowl. And she only cuddles her Loofa Dog when we aren't looking. But I'm sure she loves her gifts. And she undoubtedly understands the true meaning of Christmas. She is the smartest dog ever.

And it is possible that her people are a bit more silly than average.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Crafty Christmas Tree Ornament

We had a fun Christmas! We stayed so busy that apparently neither Lisa or I have had time to write anything since before the holidays started!

Before Christmas this year, Mom told me she thought her tree looked sad and naked. When we moved out of the house, Lisa and I got to take our Christmas tree ornaments with us. She kept our baby ones and the ones we made for her in 4-H, but all of the festive ones we collected over the years were gone. So I decided to get crafty and make her a new ornament!

Poor C. got coerced into helping me with this project. I needed thin slices of tree branches, so he went in search of pretty wood. He even used his uncle's fancy saw to make them smooth. Next, I needed help branding our initials and the year in the slices. I pretty much held the torch while he did all the branding.

So, C. did pretty much all the work, while I got all the credit for having the idea. I did add the pretty little bundle of what my dad called "alfalfa" at the top. I thought it seemed more Christmas-y.

Next year I'll have to come up with another idea for a crafty Christmas ornament!